As you can probably tell from this post, I probably over thought the whole assignment. I have been out of school for almost 30 years and grew up with the immortal words:

“If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”

It took me a long time to actually get out and photograph something. I had a few discussions with my awesome new tutor who encouraged me to stop over thinking, making excuses, looking for perfection and do something. He was right. The more I waited for the right day, thought about the locations and what to do, how i could get the best shot, what equipment I would need, whether I would use this filter or that one or generally just panicked about it not being the best thing I have ever done, the less I was inspired and felt like going out.
The purpose of me starting this degree was to help with my mental health, motivate me to get out more and enjoy my photography without pressure. Before I had taken my first photo I had managed to create a mental block that had had the reverse effect. After many aborted attempts to get out due to ill health, hospital appointments and operations, last Sunday I felt in the right place to do something.
I was up at 5:45 wide awake and got my gear together. I had decided that I would take the dog for a walk with My Wife and grab a few simple shots on the way. Nothing complicated, not over thinking it. A simple walk through the village and the history of it.
I decided to take a playful approach to the assignment “The Square Mile” and submit my images in square 1:1 format a la Instagram. I also decided that I would put my camera in to auto to further simplify things as though it were an iPhone and adopted a run and gun approach to things.
Not the “right” thing to do for many. Not the “right” approach to a photography degree maybe. But, for me, I just wanted to experience the walk and the beauty and be in the moment. I wanted to experience it as though I were that child growing up, learning about my area, without a care in the world. I didn’t want to be bogged down with thinking about getting this shot or that. I didn’t want to be thinking, if I’d brought my filters or if i go back and get my tripod I could do x, y or z.
Contrary to a few believers on the Google Group for EYV, this is after all an Art Degree not a technical proficiency exam. It is about beauty, vision, representation of feelings gained and marking of a moment in time. There is plenty of time for getting the technicalities right but, the assignment asks for something different from the normal. Something different from my comfort zone.

“Gear is good but vision is better!”

David duChemin

My comfort zone and biggest hang up is control. I spend too much time worried about the perfect shot. About controlling the moment. Or rather lacking any control over it. So much so that I lose the moment and the inspiration worrying about this setting or that. I see my work through the eyes of others. The perfection as viewed by others. The technically correct image that so often lacks any soul or meaning. I’m not saying that technique and an inside out knowledge of the workings of the camera you use aren’t essential. I guess it’s more that for me I spend more time worrying about the how to rather than the doing. The best gear, the best conditions, the best of everything. In the end rather than just enjoying the moment and enjoying the process of making a picture that becomes a memory, I miss the opportunity. I wanted to free myself of all constraints and start afresh. I even considered using my iPhone for the walk.
Moving forward, I fear I won’t be able to continue in this vein as my need for Utopia and perfection is too great. However, I am hoping that the need will wane and the love and art of photography takes over more as I advance through the course.

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